Thoughts and new old questions

The last few days have been wonderful. This weekend's Easter Vigil marked my first year in the Catholic Church (well, based on the liturgical calendar at least). This year was the also the first time that I had made it to all of the Easter Triduum services. I cannot now remember the reason that I wasn't able to attend the Good Friday service last year.

I was also excited to celebrate in my new parish which I love. At this time last year (and through the summer into August) I was searching for a job. At times it was very frustrating and I would have to remind myself to trust God to open up an opportunity for me and to send me where he wanted me to be. I enjoy my job and believe that God has presented me with a great opportunity. However, I am convinced that a big reason that He sent me to Lawrence, Kansas was the St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center. I'm a staff member at the University and as such this is my parish. It is a wonderful parish were the Faith is alive and vibrant. It gives me great hope for the future of the Church that the students here are exposed to such a great display of the Catholic Faith.

The Easter Triduum liturgies were beautiful. My last parish made heavy use of guitars and contemporary music (not to say that it isn't a great place also. It was there after all that my faith was nurtured). St. Lawrence is much more traditional in it's music selections and has an outstanding organ. The incense was so thick all weekend that you could cut it with a knife. St. Lawrence also uses Latin quite a bit for the Gloria, Sanctus, and Kyrie (okay, Greek on that last one). And I will admit that I had trouble singing the Gloria at the Easter Vigil because I was getting a bit choked up. The same thing happened last year. I think that moment when the Gloria is sung at the Vigil is my favorite moment of the entire year.

During the past few days I have found a renewed joy in my Faith. I haven't been able to get the Gloria out of my head since the Easter Vigil. A couple of other things also happened. Since I was in RCIA I have wrestled with the notion of Communion in the hand vs. on the tongue. We were never given any instruction on this unfortunately and I ended up going along with the crowd and receiving in the hand. Since, then I've always been too nervous to try receiving on the tongue even though I was convinced that it would be the much more reverent option. Right before communion on Holy Thursday I made up my mind to receive the on the tongue. What a difference!!! By Easter Sunday (having a couple of receptions on the tongue under my belt) I noticed that I was much less worried about dropping the consecrated host and much more focused on my Lord whom I was about to receive in the Eucharist. I don't think anything short of an directive from the Pope or Magisterium will cause me to revert back to Communion in the hand.

I've also decided to really try to go to daily Mass. Again, St. Lawrence being the great parish that it is makes this really easy. They offer two every day. So this morning I got up and went to the 8:00 am. What a great way to start my day. I usually am not a Monday person but I think today went much better than usual. So far so good, but I should avoid being boastful as that is the surest way to fall. Right now, I'm going to shoot for making it to Mass every day of the Octave of Easter and hopefully my daily Mass attendance will continue from there.

The Easter Triduum also saw the return of some thoughts about my vocation that I thought, or at least had tried to convince myself, that I had resolved. I found myself questioning again whether or not God could be calling me to the priesthood. I can think of many obstacles to that, which is exactly what I started to do immediately. But then I realized that if that is what God really wanted and if I turned it over to His hands he would resolve those obstacles. However, that being said and I am still pretty sure that the priesthood is not the vocation that God has in store for me. But I do pray for the strength of heart and spirit to say "yes" to whatever he asks me to do.

Along those lines, I think some of this may come from a need to become more involved in the Church. Being a convert and moving 300 miles has left me not knowing very many Catholics, well not practicing ones anyway. I realized that interaction with others in the Church is pretty much limited to the Sign of Peace during Mass, my blogs and those that I read, and the Defenders of the Catholic Faith message board. Not that I don't treasure the friendships I've made on the blogs and message board, but it's not quite the same as having some live face to face interaction with people. So, I think that meeting people has to really be a focus over the coming months. Of course, I am unsure what turn my life will take in the next couple of months. My current job is not the most permanent of positions. I currently have my eyes open for new jobs and in my line of work that almost always involves moving some distance. So as of right now I'm not sure if I will still be in Lawrence or moving somewhere else come the end of June. But, during the Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday masses I started to have a strong idea that I should investigate the possibility of joining the choir if I end up staying here. It seems that the choir, like almost everything at the Center is open to students and the "permanent community" (i.e. faculty/staff) alike. I'm not the best singer in the world but I was the the University Choir back at Arkansas for two or three semesters. So basically my thought process went, "maybe I am called to be a priest, no I'm just longing for more involvement in the Church, maybe I should join the choir". Anyway, we'll see where all of this goes.

Through the eyes of Christ

Last summer a friend and I went to St. Louis, Missouri for a Cardinals baseball game. The game was on a Saturday afternoon. We drove to St. Louis on Friday night and got up Saturday morning and went to Mass at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis. After Mass we hung around and had a look at the Cathedral Basilica. We then left to go check out the Basilica of St. Louis, King of France, also known in St. Louis as the Old Cathedral. On our way we passed by St. Francis Xavier Church near the campus of St. Louis University. We decided to stop and see if it was open. We went in and the nave was mostly dark. There were only a few lights in the sanctuary. I'm not good at using my camera in low light situations but decided to take a photo from the back of the church anyway. We where reading some of the information in the front of the church when a man, whom I hadn't seen before, came out of the nave and started talking to us. I can't remember the details exactly but I believe his story involved a sick child and he asked us if we had any money that we could give him. We each gave him a few dollars from the little cash we were caring and went on our way.

I thought that if he was just waiting around for a chance to bum money from unsuspecting strangers that a dark church would be a weird place to hang out. In any case I offered up a short prayer for this man.

Later, when I downloaded my pictures to my computer I was somewhat surprised by what I saw in this photo. There he is, head bowed seemingly in prayer, sitting in the back pew of a dark church with only the altar illuminated. The light in the rest of the church and the fuzziness is caused by the night/low light setting on my camera.

I just ran across this photo again. I'm somewhat glad that it turned out blurry. I think it's a good reminder that our view of the world is often distorted and we must strive to view all things though the eyes of Christ.

For more pictures from my trip to St. Louis click here

The Seven Last Words of Christ Part 2

Read Part One First

This is the second part of a series on the Seven Last Words of Christ as I read Father Richard John Neuhaus’ Death on a Friday Afternoon: Meditation on the Last Words of Jesus From the Cross.

“Truly, I say to you, today you will
be with me in paradise.”

In Matthew 19: 30 Our Lord tells us, “And many that are first, shall be last: and the last shall be first.” Christ continues in the telling of householder who hired laborers for his vineyard. Some began work in the morning, others at the third hour, and still more at the eleventh hour. At the end of the day the last to begin work were paid first and all received the same wage. The first to begin work grumbled that the last received the same wage. The master of the house said to them, “Take what is thine, and go thy way: I will also give to this last even as to thee. Or, is it not lawful for me to do what I will? is thy eye evil, because I am good?”

The Biblical account of Jesus crucifixion tells us that he was crucified between two robbers. One of the condemned railed against him saying, “If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.” The other rebuked the first, “Neither dost thou fear God, seeing thou art condemned under the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this man hath done no evil.” Turing to our Savior, and his, he said, “Lord, remember me when thou shalt come into thy kingdom.” Here we have the second of the seven last words, “Amen I say to thee, this day thou shalt be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23)

Here we see the last of humanity, a thief, be the first to receive the salvation made available by the Christ crucified. Just has he had done throughout his public ministry; Christ continued to preach even as he faced death on the Cross. He shows us what is meant by the “first shall be last: and the last shall be first.” We must be diligent to not set ourselves first in self righteous assurance of our salvation while condemning others, for the thief, condemned by all, was the first to taste salvation.

In the Sermon on the Mount Christ warns us, “judge not, that you may not be judged” (Matthew 7: 1). We commonly recognize this as a clear instruction to refrain from passing judgment on others. What of ourselves? Should we not also refrain from judging the state of our own salvation? To judge our own salvation secure is to become comfortable or worse, boastful. St. Paul instructs us, “with fear and trembling work out your salvation” (Phillipian 2: 12).

Rather that judge our own salvation to be secure we should live in the hope of salvation. Father Neuhaus quotes St. Thomas Aquinas as saying, “one has to believe of what one hopes that it can be attained, this is what hope adds to mere desire. Man can, namely, also have desire for things that he does not believe he can attain, but hope cannot exist in these circumstances.”

Our hope for salvation is grounded in our belief, that is, our faith that it may be attained. Furthermore, our faith leads us to hope that all will be saved. In his letter to Timothy, Paul tells us, “I desire therefore, first of all, that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all men: For kings, and for all that are in high station: that we may lead a quiet and a peaceable life in all piety and chastity. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour, Who will have all men to be saved, and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2: 1 - 4).

From the Cross our Lord shows us that our belief is not unfounded and therefore our hope justified. He shows us that through his Grace and awesome power, in accordance with His will, even the last of human kind can be saved from the very jaws of death. In fear and trembling we must hope for our salvation and the salvation of all.

The Seven Last Words of Christ

I am a little behind on my Lenten reading. That being said, I am reading Fr. Richard John Neuhaus', Death on a Friday Afternoon: Meditations on the Last Words of Jesus From the Cross. As we approach Good Friday, I will attempt to offer my own reflections on Fr. Neuhaus writings as I progress through the book.

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

In Eucharistic Prayer III we pray, “Look with favor on your Church’s offering, and see the Victim whose death has reconciled us to yourself.” Here we proclaim the mystery of our atonement, granted to us through the death of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

In Death on a Friday Afternoon, Father Neuhaus outlines four truths of atonement.

1. Something has gone terribly wrong.
2. We are responsible.
3. Something must be done.
4. We can do nothing.

In partaking of the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve sought the power to determine right from wrong, good from evil. Rather than let them be stored up the prodigal son desired his treasures immediately. In declaring itself blameless, the world condemned God to die on a cross. Yet, they knew not what they were doing.

We, in the here and now, were present in the there and then. It was we who sought and still seek knowledge to judge, treasure, and excuse. We know not what we do, for it is outside the realm of our human understanding to contemplate the fullness of God. To know the full agony of sin would be too much to bear. Yet, we are responsible.

God, who is Justice, demands that reparations be made for that which has gone wrong. The world is disordered and must be made right. Shall we do it? We, in not knowing what we do, are not even able to recognize the depth of our own fault. How are we to right the entire world?

If we can do nothing to right that which we have wronged, then who can? Our answer is found in the person of Jesus Christ, crucified on a cross and raised in glory. Christ, who was not sin, became sin so that he could take our place in justice. In obtaining for us our atonement, Christ did what we could not do in our ignorance. In fact, crucial to our salvation is our ignorance. If we had known that this man, Jesus Christ, was the Son of the Living God would the words, “Crucify Him”, have dared been uttered from our lips. Would we have dreamed to seek our excuse by laying the blame on he that is blameless?

God is not bound by our judgment. Yet he submitted himself to it so that he might forgive us for that which we do and do not know. In his death Christ reveals to us that to which we are blind. It is at the foot of the Cross that the world is rightly ordered and we are able to see.

Continue Reading: Part 2

Parable of the Prodigal Son and Confession

In today's readings we have the Parable of the Prodigal Son, Luke 15: 11 - 32. I thought Fr. Steven related this parable to our need for the Sacrament of Reconciliation quite well. Here is a brief look at what he said with some expansion of my own.

He pointed out that a lot of people object to going to confession saying, "I don't need to go to a priest for forgiveness." However, Fr. Steven points out that the prodigal son could have easily said to himself, "I am sorry for my sins and I know that my father will forgive me" and left it at that. But, the son knew that he needed to HEAR his father's words of forgiveness. So he returned to his father's house to confess his sins and seek forgiveness.

The son plans to say three things, 1. I have sinned, 2. I am no longer worthy to be called your son, and 3. treat me as you would one of your hired servants. However, the father does not allow the son to say this third thing. Rather the father says, "this my son was dead, and is come to life again: was lost, and is found."

In the Sacrament of Reconciliation when we humbly admit our sins and lamment that we are not worthy to be called sons of God. However, we are given by the grace of God the assurance and joy that God runs to meet us and greet us as His sons. Though unworthy of it, He will not deny us His love and kinship.

Subtle Reminders

Well maybe not so subtle.

From that what I've heard from others it seems that I am not alone in having some particular sin that I struggle with more than others. I won't got into the details here but lets just say that the sin I struggle with most is of the mortal, no communion, need to seek the Sacrament of Reconciliation type.

And seek the Sacrament of Reconciliation is exactly what I did this past Thursday. I went to confession and then to Mass and received communion for the first time in 2 1/2 weeks. And thought to myself....."okay let's try to not have to come back to confession for a few weeks." I'm quickly learning that isn't a good attitude to have. Because two days later, WHAMMY, same sin. TWO DAYS...that has got to be some sort of record. And so my thoughts have been contrite for having offended God but also a lot of regretting having to go back to confession so soon.

So today at Mass as I was sitting in my pew during the communion procession. And as things would turn out the communion hymn was "I've Received the Bread of Life" the refrain of which is, "I've received the Bread of Life, and my heart is filled with joy." What a reminder that my thoughts shouldn't be on self pity for having to go back to confession. But rather, I should be focused on the break in communion with Christ and his Church and the lack of joy in my heart that I created through my actions.

Christ said, "Amen, amen I say unto you: Except you eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, you shall not have life in you." -John: 6:54

The life we gain when we receive our Lord in the Eucharist is that joy that fills our hearts. Without it we have no life and no joy, for true life and joy can only come from God.

Even though we should be diligent to avoid sin, we must be cautious to not become overly exuberant in our worry about sin to the point that it prevents us from living a life pleasing to God since excessive worrying can cause harm and be sinful in its own right. However, when we do sin we should not dread confession but should embrace and rejoice in this wonderful sacrament.

Resisting temptation

For a really good reflection on today's readings I point you to Contemplating Christian

In his homily today Father talked about the need to simplify our lives. We need to learn to practice self denial for the sake of following Christ. Okay point taken.

Then I read C.C.'s reflection on today's reading saying that we have to recognize that it isn't a question of "if" we will be tempted but a question of "when". The answer seem to be with near perfect regularity. Point 2 taken.

Today's reading really came running at me. I had a run in with temptation yesterday and temptation won (this only two days after going to confession....argh). Not being able to receive communion today knowing that I had not been obedient to God really left me feeling empty. But I am comforted knowing that our Lord is waiting to welcome me with open arms in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Help me to make my prideful heart contrite O' Lord!

But he said that the things which come out from a man, they defile a man. For from within out of the heart of men proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and defile a man. - Mark 7: 20 - 23

Our Lord tells us that pride is a very bad thing. Just look at some of the things it is listed with. I had to be reminded of this. Like all I struggle with various sins, some more often than others. Yesterday afternoon I had a passing thought of, "Hey, it's been a while since I've done that. I'm doing pretty good." Well I'm sure you can see where this is headed. Several hours later that particular temptation presented itself and I fell hard. That's what I get for going and being prideful if even for just a moment.

In the confessional today my priest agreed. He suggested that we should live for the moment and not dwell on the past. Don't allow the thought of, "it's been a while, I'm doing good!" to enter our minds. For as soon as we do we open ourselves up to that very temptation.

Don't 'leave God at the door,' Fargo bishop tells Catholic lawmakers

Catholic politicians must not "leave God at the door" when they walk into the Legislature, but rather must ensure that every decision they make and every bill they pass protect human life and dignity, Bishop Samuel J. Aquila of Fargo said in a column for the diocesan newspaper.

The same obligation not to "abandon God" applies to every Catholic, whatever his or her line of work, the bishop added in the edition of New Earth newspaper that went to press Feb. 15.

Biship Aquila is of course correct. We must remember to not abandon God in our places of work. I work at a publicly funded univeristy where like most the line between Church and State is always watched. Personally, I think that line is over emphasized and abused.

Anyway, I don't try to push my Faith down the throats of my co-workers. As a matter of fact, I'm afraid that sometimes I don't show it at all. I feel that I often fail at living my faith at work. This is something I definately have to work on.

People of Babel

Today's readings bring us the story of Babel when God said, “If now, while they are one people,
all speaking the same language, they have started to do this, nothing will later stop them from doing whatever they presume to do." He then confused their language and spread the people of the world all over the Earth. The responsorial psalm goes on to tell us that God, "brings to nought the plans of nations; he foils the designs of peoples". And then in the Gospel we have Jesus telling us,
"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the Gospel will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?"

How much so are we like the people of Babel in that we are often so concerned with making a name for ourselves here on Earth that we are in danger of forgetting the heavenly rewards which we may forfeit? Additionally how often is it that when we place our own desires above those of God that we find our plans not coming together? It's only when we trust God and turn ourselves over to Him that we find our true lives.

In a broader sense consider the state of the world today. We have companies, politicians, and whole nations trying to make a name for themselves by any means necessary. How often do we see these endeavors ultimately end if failure at the cost of great suffering for many.

Consider what happens when we throw out God's law and try to replace it with the satisfaction of our own desires. We end up living in a world where it's considered discriminatory to use words like mother and father and innocent children are denied a chance at life before they are even born.

God has given us the gift of free will. However, we must recognize that the exercise of that free will carries with it definite and sometime severe consequences. We live in a world of war and rumors of war where a few are rich and thousands are starving. Families, communities, and entire nations are torn apart by disagreements in matters for which there would be no disagreement if we remained faithful to the law of God.

We are very much like the people of Babel. We have become so caught up in making a name for ourselves and having our every desire met that we have all but forsaken our place in God's kingdom. We must recognize that the problems created by our attempts to reign supreme are not merely new challenges to overcome. They are a definite sign of God's supreme reign and authority to bring the plans of nations to naught and to foil the designs of people.

Trusting God

Yesterday's Mass readings and homily got me to thinking about how much trust I put in God vs. how much I rely on the material means of this world. It seems like I'm constantly worried about making enough money to pay the bills, impressing the right people, making the right contacts to get that next good job, etc. Taking from yesterday's readings sometimes I think I may be planted a little further away from river that others and it seems like my roots tend to get cut back from time to time. I'm thinking that this sense of distance could be the result of my tendancy to worry about things and how to fix them without first putting my complete trust in God. After all, when I think about it He has blessed me greatly. Sure that have been some times when I barely got by but I've never hit rock bottom. There's always been that extra $50 when I needed it or an new opportunity when I was just ready to give up.

Then there is today's Gospel from Mark:

The Pharisees came forward and began to argue with Jesus,
seeking from him a sign from heaven to test him.
He sighed from the depth of his spirit and said,
“Why does this generation seek a sign?
Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation.”
Then he left them, got into the boat again,
and went off to the other shore. -Mark 8: 11-13

I would have to say that I am guilty of being like the Pharisees at times. Rather than just trust God to provide and to guide me I sometimes find myself waiting for a booming voice from Heaven to tell me what I want to hear. It's like I expect God to show me exactly what the future holds. Well, I haven't heard any booming voices from Heaven. What I do have however is the past to relect upon. Like I said, things have always worked out one way or another. Maybe that is my sign. Maybe that is God's way of saying "look, it's all worked out before hasn't it? Why don't you trust me now?" This is definately something to keep in mind as the Lenten season approaches.

Wash your mouth out with soap.

Moneybags atA Catholic Lifehas a very good post discussing cursing and profanity.

Is Bad Language a Sin?

This is definitely something that I struggle with. Sometimes my language can get pretty colorful. I work in an environment that is full of choice words. Sometimes it seems like conversations are little more than long strings of explicitives. When I first started my job a few months ago I was known as the person that rarely let one of these words fly. Over the last few months it has become more common. My co-workers are still surprised when I let a rather long string loose. I know this isn't good. I should be setting an example with my manner of speech. One more thing to work on in the constant struggle against sin.

Resisting sin

From today's Mass readings:

Heb. 12: 1-4

Brothers and sisters:
Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,
let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us
and persevere in running the race that lies before us
while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus,
the leader and perfecter of faith.
For the sake of the joy that lay before him
Jesus endured the cross, despising its shame,
and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God.
Consider how he endured such opposition from sinners,
in order that you may not grow weary and lose heart.
In your struggle against sin
you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.

The last sentence of this reading jumped right off the page at me. Christ resisted sin to the point of giving up his own life to defeat it. I am afraid that I all to often give in to sin without much of a fight. By virtue of our fallen human nature we are bound to fall to the temptations of sin from time to time. However, by the Grace of God we are given the ability to fight off temptations to some degree. It is my thought that some may be able to fight off a higher degree of tempation than others. The reasons for this are too vast and numerous to list I'm sure. My fear is that I all to often do not use the full potential of the Grace that God has granted me in fighting tempation. It seems that I sometimes give up too soon, allowing myself to be swept away in a tide of sinfulness. I say that because it always seems that one thing lead to another which leads to something else.

I have often thought, "I should pray the rosary until this tempation passes." It has rarely worked. Not because the rosary wasn't effective but because I never started praying it. It think this is an example of giving up to easily. Instead of going head first into the fight armed in prayer, I let the temptation over come me. One thing that I have had success with is praying the Jesus prayer, "Lord Jesus have mercy on me, a sinner" during times of temptation. This simple prayer is very powerful. Maybe simpler is better for me right now. Lord Jesus, have mercy on me a sinner. Give me strength in the face of temptation.

and now, the rest of the story

Part 3 of my conversion story is now posted over on Catholic Converts

My conversion story

I have posted part of my conversion story over on my other blog Catholic Converts. So far I have posted Parts 1 and 2 of an undetermined number of parts.

My Story: Part 1

Grace, Faith, or Works?

Since I've had this discussion on whether we are saved by grace, faith, or works many times during my journey into the Catholic Faith, I thought I'd address the question here. Actually, the idea of this post started during today's Gospel reading.

In today's Gospel we heard the story of Jesus' healing of Jairu's daughter and the woman with a hemorrhage. Mark obviously presents this story the way he does in order to focus on the healing power of faith in Christ. However, from my personal experience it seems that we tend to focus on the raising of the girl from the dead and skim over the woman with the hemorrhage.

Mark 5: 25-34

There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for twelve years. She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse. She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. She said, "If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured." Immediately her flow of blood dried up. She felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him, turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who has touched my clothes?" But his disciples said to him, "You see how the crowd is pressing upon you, and yet you ask, 'Who touched me?'" And he looked around to see who had done it. The woman, realizing what had happened to her, approached in fear and trembling. She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction."

This passage gives the perfect opportunity to take a single line of scripture, "Daughter, your faith has saved you", out of context and make the "saved by faith" arguement. But something very important happens in this story. The woman commits a "work". She reaches out to Christ. She could have had all the faith in the world that if she touched Jesus' clothes that she would be healed. But the healing didn't take place until she put her faith in action. James tells us that faith without works is dead.

James 2: 17-26

So also faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead. Indeed someone might say, "You have faith and I have works." Demonstrate your faith to me without works, and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works. You believe that God is one. You do well. Even the demons believe that and tremble. Do you want proof, you ignoramus, that faith without works is useless? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered his son Isaac upon the altar? You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by the works. Thus the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called "the friend of God." See how a person is justified by works and not by faith alone. And in the same way, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she welcomed the messengers and sent them out by a different route? For just as a body without a spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.

Growing up Southern Baptist I was taught, but never really believed, that once you were "saved" nothing else need be done. When I was told that we were saved by grace, I had no problem. When I was told that we found faith through God's grace, I had no problem. But when it came down to faith alone without the need for works, I had a problem. Christ warns us in Revelation about being lukewarm and having a false sense of security.

Revelation 3: 15-17

"I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, 'I am rich and affluent and have no need of anything,' and yet do not realize that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

We shouldn't fall into a false sense of being "rich" with salvation after walking down an aisle and making a profession of faith and saying a prayer with a preacher (in other words and "alter call" or "invitation" in many Protestant churches). Christ tells us that he KNOWS our works and will spit us out.

All throughout the Bible (read the stories of Noah, Abraham, Lot, the Blessed Virgin Mary, etc) we see stories of people to whom God extended his grace. They had faith in Him and did works to show their faith. Their faith and works were enabled by the grace of God. God pours out his grace on mankind, it is up to us by our God-given free will to respond to his grace with faith AND works.

Who God calls us to be

Yesterday during Father Andy's homily he refered to T.S. Elliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, the work on which the Broadway musical Cats is based. At first I thought that maybe Fr. Andy had gone off his rocker. He then spoke about The Naming of Cats in which Elliot informs us that cats have three names. Fr. went on to explain that like T.S. Elliot's cats, we in fact have three names. We have our proper name as given to us by our parents, our common name in everyday usage. For example though my proper name is Christopher I commonly am called Chris. Then, we have our third name. The one given to us by God. This is our call in life. It is who God has called us to be. It is the name that we spend our entire lives trying to discover.

So a homily that started with my wondering about my priest's state of mind left me asking two questions.

1. Who am I?
2. Who does God want me to be?

These are questions that we should ask ourselves everyday. Actually, I think they are best asked like this. Who has God called me to be and how does who I am today relate to that call?

I am at a stage where I'm not sure what the next step is. I don't know what the future holds and I'm unsure about who God is calling me to be. In reflection, I can see that I was in much the same situation not long ago when I was tossing around the idea of converting to the Catholic Faith. When asked by people how I came to accept the Catholic Church I've often recounted "reading myself into it". But that's not really it at all. Through grace, God led me to become more of who He has called me to be. We have to open our hearts to listen to God and to be willing to follow where He leads. We will spend our lives searching in vain for who God wants us to be unless we listen for His voice. He has called us to Himself, the Father through the Son in the Holy Spirit. We must listen and follow what we hear to find our true self, our true name as called by God.

Guided by the Holy Spirit

Yesterday, a friend and I had a lengthy conversation about the Catholic Church. We discussed many issues, one of which was papal infallibility. We discussed how the authority of the Church comes from Christ and that the Pope and the Bishops in conference may speak infallibily through the guidance of the Holy Spirit in matters of faith and morals.

In no way am I any type of authority on the Church but I tried to explain these parts of the Catholic Faith as best I could. Even thought he didn't say it I got a sense of "it isn't in the Bible and I'm not believing it"

Today's Gospel reading stood out to me in light of this conversation:

Jesus said to his disciples: “When the Advocate comes whom I will send you from the Father, the Spirit of truth that proceeds from the Father, he will testify to me. And you also testify, because you have been with me from the beginning.

“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now. But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth. He will not speak on his own, but he will speak what he hears, and will declare to you the things that are coming. He will glorify me, because he will take from what is mine and declare it to you. Everything that the Father has is mine; for this reason I told you that he will take from what is mine and declare it to you.” Jn 15:26-27, 16:12-15

“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now. But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth."

Throughout the ages, the one Truth of Christ has been revealed to the Church thought the guidance of the Holy Spirit as the Father saw fit. As I pointed out in the conversation is seems like infallible statements from the pope or bishops are rare today. Yet we can still rely on the Holy Spirit to reveal truths to us as they are needed, when we are ready to accept and bear them if you will. In times of trial, confusion, or even error we can rely on the Holy Spirit to reveal the Truth to us through the authority of the Church as established by Christ.

Who is the Bread of Life? II

I found this discussion today that addresses the song that I was talking about in my original post. It's a worthy read.

End Times

I have been asked by a friend to comment on the end times from a Catholic perspective. I am far from any type of authority on this matter. What I will do here is try to present as much information as I can. If anybody reads this and has helpful knowledge, please share.

Eschatology is the branch of theology that deals with the last things.

The common belief of dispensationalists is that there will be a secret Rapture during which "true believers" will be carried away before the Tribulation and Second Coming of Christ. The Church has not officially rejected the notion of a secret Rapture, however Catholic eschatology does not lend support to the idea.

The Church rejects the dispensationalist claim of the Millennium, the literal, early reign of Christ on Earth for a thousand years.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

The Church has rejected even modified forms of this falsification of the kingdom to come under the name of millenarianism, especially the "intrinsically perverse" political form of a secular messianism. CCC 676

St. Augustine interpreted the reference to a "thousand years" found in the Revelations as a metaphor of the Church age. The Church has yest to make a formal statement what the Millennium is or was. However the Church does say this:

Before his Ascension Christ affirmed that the hour had not yet come for the glorious establishment of the messianic kingdom awaited by Israel which, according to the prophets, was to bring all men the definitive order of justice, love, and peace. According to the Lord, the present time is the time of the Spirit and of witness, but also a time still marked by "distress" and the trial of evil which does not space the Church and ushers in the struggles of the last days. It is a time of waiting and watching. CCC 672

One explanation is that the present day Church is the "Church between times". We are between the times of Christ's First and Second Comings, the "Church Age". We are in the end times that began with Christ coming to Earth as Man and will end with his Second Coming.

The Catholic Encylopedia provides an article on Eschatology that compares the eschatolical beliefs of various cultures and those of the Old and New Testaments here.

St. Bede the Venerable, pray for us.
St. Gregory VII, pray for us.
St. Mary Magdelene de'Pazzi, pray for us.